I’m Coming Out
I used to be gay.
I used to be characterized by cheerfulness and a lighthearted attitude, but I’m gay no more. I don’t have a sexual desire for persons of the same sex as me.
I used to be glad. I mean really, really glaad! I used to exude joy, but I’m glad no more. I’m not a member of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD).
I used to love rainbows. I used to think first about God’s promise to mankind represented by the rainbow, but no more. It has become a symbol for homosexuality. A rainbow on my car will send the wrong message.
I used to be proud of being married, but that may not mean much any more. Marriage is being redefined and diluted as I write this. Who knows what that ring on the finger will mean tomorrow?
Hey, I have an idea!
Does anyone want to join me in a sure-fire business deal? Let’s create a fruity soft-drink and call it Coke! I’m sure we’ll sell a bunch of it, and we don’t even have to advertise. The word “Coke” has such a draw people won’t care about the difference. What do you think?
“But that’s absurd,” you say, “Coke will come after us because we stole their name.” Not to worry. We can simply redefine Coke to mean any soft-drink… Just as we did with gay, glad, the rainbow, and marriage. We’ll get legislators and the Supreme Court to help us – we’ll simply give the politicians a cut of the profits. What do you think?